September 6 - Snow

It is cold. It is always cold, cold enough outside to kill you if you are not protected, cold enough inside to do the same, only slower. The cave is dark, except for a faint glow filtering through the ice in the ceiling. We have quite a stockpile of fuel, we found a fallen tree that was not too large and managed to break it to pieces with stones and drag it back home. It would be warmer if I were to light a fire on the stone in the back of the cave, but even with such a good stockpile the precious sticks must be hoarded closely. The long dark of the night is deadly, and the flame is our only way to survive. It is my only way to survive, since Churgi-Nim went to hunt for food. He has not yet come back.

Churgi-Nim has been gone for four days. I am not worried about him at all. This is for two reasons. The first is that there is no point worrying, for he will either return with food, or he will not. The second reason is that I know what has happened to him. After four days in the outside, there is no chance that he has survived. He will not be returning, and so I am alone.

I have not eaten in a day. Before long I will be too weak to move. If that happens, I will die. I do not wish to die, so I must take action. I dig a small tunnel in the snow at the front of the cave, shivering as the cold wind blasts snow into my face. The sky is perpetually gray outside, but I can see that it is darkening towards night. I must wait until tomorrow to venture outside. I pack snow tightly back into the hole I made, shutting out the howling wind. Whilst I still have dim sunlight I construct the fire, kindling in a grid pattern to catch quickly and waste little. In the yellow light I stitch all the remaining furs into garments my size. When they are finished I harden my spears in the fire, feed it a chunk of wood, and then curl up to sleep.

I wake, and dig the tunnel again. It is dark, but gray light is starting to seep into the blackness. It is time for me to go. I dig my way out of the cave, filling packed snow behind me. The cold is much worse outside, and despite my extra furs the wind cuts into my flesh. There is a tall stone beside the entrance to the cave, so I fix it in my mind before turning my face into the wind. I take sixty paces towards the hunting ground before something in the snow catches my foot and makes me fall on my face. I should move on, the most important thing is finding food, but curiosity makes me stop. I reach down and dig around the hard object that tripped me up. It is long and bent, and soon I see five pale objects sticking out of something larger. Fingers, and a hand. I have found Churgi-Nim, he didn’t even reach the hunting grounds.

I dig out his furs and spears, then turn my face into the wind. I must find food. Mourning can wait.