August 26 – Parasite

I’ve got an infection. I don’t know where I picked it up. I wash my hands all the time, and I never leave food out. I don’t eat anywhere unless I’ve seen that the kitchen is clean and well kept, and I keep a bottle of hand sanitiser with me at all times. I avoid sick people on the train, and if someone in the office is sick I have a drawer full of facemasks. If it gets really bad, I work from home. I clean the house thoroughly every week, and bleach everything every fortnight. I alternate between the toilet and the kitchen each day. I make sure to eat well and get the right amount of exercise to keep healthy. I take probiotics, and vitamin C, and other immune strengthening supplements. Yet despite all the care I take to keep my immune system up and running. Something got me.

 I can feel it, it’s growing inside me. Sometimes my skin feels hot and flushed, as if I have a fever, and other times cold and clammy. I feel lethargic nearly all the time, and not a day goes by without a bout of nausea. I can feel it growing inside of me. Not a bacteria, according to the doctor, nor a fungus, nor a virus, not even an amoeba. What I have is a parasite. Something that has invaded my body and attached itself, sucking nutrients from my blood and replacing them with its own wastes. The doctor says that there’s not much to do about it. It can be removed by surgery, but they don’t usually like to do that because it comes out on its own after a while. Such a long time to wait, though.

 It’s gotten bigger, I can feel it. I can see the swelling when I look in the mirror. Even other people have started to notice it, and I can see them looking at me, judging. Some look surprised, others smug, yet others disgusted. They’re not the worst, though. The worst are the ones who seem to take an unholy glee in my suffering, who poke at my inflamed body with crazed grins on their faces. It’s so bad I’m starting to avoid going outside. I can’t run any more, and it’s even getting hard to walk. I can’t stand to wear most of my clothes anyway, as they just irritate my skin. My muscles ache constantly. I’m seriously starting to consider the surgery.

 It’s gotten worse. I can hardly move at all because of how big this thing has gotten. The most horrifying thing, though, is that I can feel it move. I can press down on my skin and feel it squirming around inside me. I have to go to the toilet all the time, and I can hardly eat anything. The doctor says that it’s because the thing growing inside me has gotten so large that it’s pressing on my organs. The doctor says it shouldn’t be long until I can finally get this thing out of my body.

 The doctor says it’s a boy.